The Sweet Smell of Roses

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

~D.H. Lawrence~

This was a 'wake up in the middle of the night' I have to find this poem moment.   I'm always amazed at what my mind generates at 2:30 in the morning and when this popped into focus, I

had to find it.  

You see, I could drown in my own pool of pity on any given day.....I can 

throw THE best pity parties around complete with Kleenex, wine, and my sofa.  Excuse me for a minute while I climb out of the pity pool and dry myself off. 

Being grateful is important......Grateful for anything.....grateful for something.  Remember the 

whole Oprah and 'the greatest gift she ever received was starting a gratitude journal' show?   I remember it and thought briefly back then about giving it a shot and like most everything else I've started, it ended after a couple of days.  But, I am realizing one of the biggest challenges, when you are in a tough situation is stopping and 'smelling the roses'.  

Yep, it's a cliche.  Yep, it's annoying.   Yep, it's true.

For today, I'm going to smell the roses.   Even if it's only during the time it takes me to write

this blog.  For it's only through picking the roses that you can shed the thorns. (Yes Megan, I

agree that last statement was on the mushy gushy side)

When Leah was born and diagnosed as having pvl (periventricular leukomalcia) which is the 

initial diagnosis for the cystic changes to her brain, the neurologist charted everyday to 

'monitor for seizures'.   They full expected her to have seizures.   To this day, she hasn't had 

even one.  For that I am grateful.

When Leah was born, she did develop hydrocephalus and could again (different than her

hydranencephaly) and we were told she would need a shunt to fix it....hydrocephalus doesn't usually go away on it's own.  We elected not to do the shunt, and within three days, it was 

gone and she hasn't needed a shunt yet.  For that I am grateful.

When Leah was born, she was on a feeding tube and the doctors fully expected her to go 

home on a feeding tube.  She started taking a bottle and didn't look back.  She might very well need a feeding buttom some day but for now she eats very well on her own.   For that I am

grateful.

When Leah was born, we were told she could be blind and deaf.  Her hearing is near perfect and she can see.  

She tracks objects and follows us around the room and sometimes turns her head to my voice.  For that I am 

grateful.

Shortly after Leah was born, she started developing adducted thumbs....a sign of neurological damage.  However, after a few days she stopped.  Today her hands are very loose and sweet and perfect.   For that I am grateful.

After Leah was born, the doctors told us her muscles would probably start tightening up within a couple of months.  As of today, her body hasn't done that.  For that I am grateful.

Taylor and Logan squeeze on her and talk to her, and kiss on her as they would anyway.   For that I am grateful.

I don't want to be so caught up in my self pity that I don't notice her smile through those big 

blue eyes, her love in that squeezable body, the spirit that lives in her heart.

I hope she knows who we are and I hope she knows how much she is loved.

What were you grateful for today?  Really really grateful for.