Little Leah cont

Still the day of delivery:  Mon Oct 18th

So the talk at this point was of blood transfusions and a flight to K.C. and what seemed to me to be crazy stuff.  I was terrified and confused and my saving grace were phone calls to Matt, my cousin, friend, and an OB.  His words were the hot cup of tea at the end of a stressful day.....calming and reassuring even though, (and I didn't know this til much later) he was extremely concerned.

Long about 6:30/7:00 I was allowed to eat finally.   I had been given pitocin to induce contractions to see if Leah could handle  a trip to KC and in utero blood transfusions.  She passed with flying colors and arrangements were being made.   My thoughts were with my other two kids and how panicked and worried they would be and how leaving them was breaking my heart.   What I wouldn't give to be home.

Supper was so good well, good for hospital food or good because I hadn't eaten since 7 am and I was feeling a bit better thinking this situation was going to work out.  We would fix the problem and our little girl would be fine.  How wrong I was because shortly after dinner, her heart rate dropped  and within minutes, the faucet of tears were flowing and my bed was racing down the hall.  My thoughts:  it's way to early for her to be born and where is Shane....left in the room and hollering down the hall that he loved me.   He told me later this was one of the loneliest/scariest times in his life. So what do you do when you are in this situation?  You call Matt and call Matt he did....over and over.  Thank God for Matt.

7:52 pm Leah Avery Overlees was born and she was in bad shape.    Shane would later share with me that they took him to her bedside and said we would need to make a decision about her life.  However, because I had eaten right before delivery they had to put me under for the c-section and I would remain 'out of it' until about 2 am and Shane hadn't felt like he could make a decision about her without me.   At 2 am they wheeled me down to see her and all I remember saying is 'She is moving....she is finally moving' but I had NO idea what it took to get her to that point.  On the way back to the room, I spotted a dollar bill face side up and had the most awesome feeling that everything was going to be ok.  I couldn't have been more wrong.

Over the next 24-48 hours she rocked!  She did so well, the drs were calling her a miracle....she was off the vent in no time and breathing well and soon off oxygen.   He neonatologist called her the 'kick ass baby'.

Five days out:   things weren't getting worse but reality was setting in.   The neurologist had yet to speak to us and the nurses were noticing things about Leah that weren't quite right.  We insisted on a meeting with the neurologist and were starting to figure things out.   This was also the first night we had to leave the hospital without her and my heart was broken.  

Day six, the dr ordered a ct scan and an MRI and usually an MRI is only done if the ct scan is abnormal and I believe the chart said severely abnormal ct results.   And the MRI results were even worse.  We were devastated and I can't recall EVER in my 37 years feeling the way I felt that night.  We had been so hopeful and so impressed with her recovery and the first several days I was afraid they were going to call me and tell me she didn't make it from then on I was afraid they wouldn't.  A harsh reality....

Someone asked me the other day about winning the lottery and what I would do with it and how exciting it would be......for me it's simple:     I could win all the money in the world, and I still wouldn't be able to buy my daughter a new brain.